Todo Se Derrumbó Dentro de Mí, Dentro de Mí

For some reason, I started (trying) to sing this song last night, but it was kind of hard because I don't really remember all the lyrics.

And I can't hit all the notes, you know. I want to sing to the world all the words that you inspire. Inexplicably. Tortuously. Damningly. But I'm limited in my resources.



Yo era feliz contigo, vida mía
Tú eras principio y fin de mi alegría
Yo te creía fiel como la luna
Que acude a protegernos cada día.

(I was happy with you, my love
You were the beginning and end of my happiness.
I thought your love faithful, like the moon
That arrives to protect us every night)

Yo era feliz contigo, vida mía
Tú eras mi perro fiel, yo era tu guía
Hasta que desperté de mi locura
Y pude comprender que me mentías.

(I was happy with you, my love.
You were my faithful dog, and I was your guide
Until I awoke from my lunacy
And could see that these were lies)

Todo se derrumbó dentro de mí, dentro de mí
Hasta mi aliento ya me sabe a hiel, me sabe a hiel
Mira mi cuerpo como se quiebra
Mira mis lágrimas como no cesan por ti.

(Everything collapsed within me, within me
Even my breath tastes of bile; it tastes of bile
Look at my body and how it's breaking
Look at my tears and how they pour ceaselessly for you)

Todo se derrumbó dentro de mí, dentro de mí
De humo fue tu amor y de papel, y de papel.
Mira mis sueños como se queman
Mira mis lágrimas como no cesan por ti.

(Everything collapsed within, within me
Your love was made of smoke and of paper, and of paper
Look at my dreams and how they're burning
Look at my tears and how they pour ceaselessly for you)


Original thoughts:

Sometimes I feel like my blood is thicker than others. That my DNA was arranged differently. Because I feel this in my bones. Dancing near my lymph nodes and telling me that there is more to this. Whispering that the universe manifests itself only in small doses from your eyes. All the more reason to never forget that they looked upon me once.

If you opened my veins right now, I'd bleed only this and spout adjectives pertaining to your existence. If you told me you loved me, my soul would implode, and I promise there would be shining stars to guide you home at night. My heart's a supernova, afterall, darling. And I know I need you more than I need this oxygen polluting my lungs. Pollute my lungs. Please. 



Ryan Hunter started a new band. I got the Religious Studies TA job. I've been sleeping more. I started NaNoWriMo. But sometimes, successes must be tempered with the acknowledgment of failure. And I'm tired of reiterating it's existence.

Or counting this as a loss. Growing up means letting go, but I cleave stubbornly still.

I'll let you know when things get better.