I Want To Know You (Biblically)

And I screamed at the sky when you took your light away

"I doubt that the sun can love me back

I know that you at least did not"

Because there are so many nonresponsive deities and satellites in the sky

There are too many hesitant lovers and passive objects of obsession with gravitational pulls

You make me lose gravity

You make me stumble into oblivion

I'm chasing after planetary rotations

And hoping that skin will peel off of bone

Or that love will dissolve from my soul

Or that your memory will melt from my subconscious

Because we always devolve into our baser selves

When confronted with our deepest desires

Freud called it the id

Said that the slips I make in reference to your existence are bound

To how I sometimes dream of your body pressing against mine

To how I sometimes imagine your breath tainting mine

And if life's meaning really is sex as he asserted

Smoking cigars and divorcing himself from Moses

Then love, I wouldn't mind fulfilling my life's purpose with your skin

Then love, I wouldn’t mind brushing your corruptible flesh

 

School has started. As have occupations and resume boosters. And I’m reading the Hebrew Bible and Justin Martyr and Frazer and trying to sound brilliant. Cramming in as many classes as I can with my school’s resident Western Religions professor. And trying to sort out what it is that I want. And how I hope to achieve it. 

And I’m not thinking of you or it. I haven’t for a while actually. It snowed yesterday, and hard. But there are greater tragedies than remembering what wasn’t, right?